Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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