PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
