Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
