She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize