Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
