The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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