Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
