Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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