we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize