Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
