just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
