That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
