great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize