Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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