so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
