Who did Billy Mays play for?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
