I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
