she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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