And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
