I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
