did you get engaged???
hotel room ftw
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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