return my video game
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
