His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
time to smoke my breakfast
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize