apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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