She said her name was "party"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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