So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
