youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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