I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
