Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
