The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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