just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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