She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
