Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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