Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
