brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
