it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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