finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
