six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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