It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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