my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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