I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
