So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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