Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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