There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
