it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
