you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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