it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
