im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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