I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
