she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
