So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
