C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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