I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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