I hate your face
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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