hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
