Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
