Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
