The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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