Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
