I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
His nipple licking is glorious
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