that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Randomize
