Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
