There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
