I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Duck Duck Cougar?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
