You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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