well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
