I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i drank out of a bidet.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This is the high leading the old right now
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize