I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
