I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
