well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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