We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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