is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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