I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
