Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize